Some thoughts on Sukkot, Simchat Torah, and World Mental Health Day.
Sukkot is also know as ‘Zman Simchatenu’ - the time of our happiness. And on Sunday (or tomorrow) we will celebrate Simchat Torah, the happiness of our Torah.
I’ve been thinking a lot over the past week about the struggle with feeling happiness and joy.
There are things that are unique to this year. The fear of COVID. The loss of what was ‘normal’. The loss of loved ones and not being able to be present. All the changes that have had to take place in our personal lives and religious lives because of COVID, that have made the past holidays feel nothing like they have previously; or extremely limited family and friend gatherings; no shul; or if there is shul then no singing; there won’t be dancing with the Torah; there will be a limited type of celebration allowed.
And then there are the things that can make joy difficult even without COVID - things which are to many to name. When I am feeling down, and find it hard to be happy, it might look like just being a bad mood or being more irritable than usual. But an absence of joy can also feel really heavy. It can feel like not being able to be creative or not wanting to talk to people or finding it difficult to continue trying things and just wanting to curl up and watch TV or having almost anything make me burst into tears.
And so I think about this time of year, where we are told to be joyful or at least told that it is a joyful period. I wonder about where the joy can come from, how to each of us help with joy, and how to be present with and for others who are not feeling joy.
When I think about joy, one of the first texts I think about is from Rabbi Nachman (Liqqutei Moharan, 2.23)"Concerning joy (simhah), consider this parable: Sometimes when people are rejoicing and dancing, they grab a person from outside (the circle)—one who is sad (be-`atzvut) and depressed—and press him against his will into the circle (mahol) of dancers (meraqqedim), and force him to rejoice with them.”
This text teaches me a few things:
I need to notice who is not dancing in the circle, notice the people who are potentially not feeling joy. Before I can invite someone in, I need to notice they are missing. Ask yourself, who have you notice ‘go off the grid’ recently? Who have you not spoken to in a while?
I need to invite others to join in. Now that I have noticed who is not with me, I need to check in with them. In that list of people that have been quiet - send them a message or make a phone call to check in with them. Maybe it is that they are just tired from social media, but maybe it is something more. See if they want to get coffee (in person or on Zoom, whichever is safe at that moment) or do dinner (again, Zoom dinner is also possible - so is watching a movie and going to a concert, and so many other things --- yes, it’s not the same, and yet, it is also something).
The person can reject joining the dancing (here I will disagree with Rebbe Nachaman). I don’t think we need to force someone to dance with us, but what I do think we need to do, is to remember to check in again. Maybe it’s in a few days or maybe it’s in a few weeks. But noticing who is missing is an ongoing process. Be ok with the other person saying no, but you never know when they will say yes; the checking in makes all the difference.
Mental health is important to talk about - even in times (or especially in times) when ritually we are meant to feel happy. I don’t think that one has to always be filled with joy. There are times that there is no feeling of joy. There are times of struggle. There are times of deep sadness. There are times of depression.
It is ok (well, more than ok) to ask for help if you need it. It is ok to check in on others and express concern (in an appropriate way) to those in our circle who might not be as ok.
I hope that this Simchat Torah - there is a way to celebrate the Torah. A way to celebrate with one another. A way to look out for one another.
Chag Sameach & happy World Mental Health Day!
PS. If you are in need of immediate mental health help in the UK you can contact one of the below services [from JAMI, https://jamiuk.org/get-support/emergency/):
Ring your GP or out of hours service for an emergency appointment
Contact your Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) if you have one
Ring Samaritans on Freephone 116 123 (24 hours a day) or the Jewish Helpline on 0800 652 9249 (Sunday – Thursday 12:00 – 00:00; Friday 12:00 – 15:00)
Call the Papyrus HOPELINEUK, on 0800 068 41 41 if you are under 35 and worried about how you are feeling. Or call if you are worried about a young person
Go to your nearest Accident and Emergency (A&E) department
Call 999 or NHS Direct on 111 (England) or 0845 46 47 (Wales)